Are you not entertained?

First off, I'd like to say I'm disappointed at the lack of audience participation this week. I was really excited to hear what some of you would say if you were the first person on Mars (cough cough Dubs cough Sandals). But I guess ya'll weren't interested. Well perhaps you'd rather I blog about politics....

Uh... the state of the union happened this week. It .. uh... was boring and I left after the first half and went to South Street for a beer instead.

Or maybe I could blog about the news...

A U.N. panel on climate change is set to give its strongest warning yet that human use of fossil fuels is stoking global warming. Of course this is nothing new to me, but I know I'll probably get posts from a relative or two telling me that the consensus of the 2,500 scientists who drafted this report is grossly exaggerated by the liberal media and that no credible link has yet been made between human actions and global climate change. Then if I really wanted to make them mad at me, I'd drop links like these on them: One Two (three?)

Or I could blog about sports...

...that is... once spring training begins. God how I miss baseball.

Maybe I'll just stick to what I'm best at - blogging about nonsense...

I hate umbrellas and here are some reasons why:

1. It's another thing you have to carry around with you... just in case.
2. They don't even do that great of a job usually. Your upper third perhaps stays a little drier but the rest of you still gets wet. The only way to get proper coverage is with an enormous umbrella which leads to...
3. They are unwieldy in windy situations. You have to hang on so tight it's not even worth the struggle. I let go of an umbrella in a storm a few years ago and haven't used one since. I just gave up on them.
   
4. It's just freaking water! We bathe in the stuff. We drink it. We're 80% made up of it. Why are we suddenly so scared of it?
5. Wear a freaking rain coat. Most people already are wearing one in a rainy situation - so what's the purpose of an umbrella? Oh right, you forgot how to use the HOOD.

I have spoken.

Some Questions

I've got some questions I need answered. And maybe you people can help me.

• Question the first: What is the point of building a bathroom with a window? At what point will this window's shade be opened? Never! Unless the house belongs to an exhibitionist. It just seems like a waste of a window to me.
• Sub-question: Why is it that in the Chicago area many of these bathroom windows are in the shower? Seriously! Talk about impractical. The worst part about this is that the window frame (usually made of wood) tends to get gross and warped and... gross. If I ever get to move back to Chi-town, I refuse to live in an apartment where the shower has a window (though I've already lived in an apartment where the shower was in a closet).
• Pregunta dos: Why do people not make full use of their scarves? All too often I see someone wearing a scarf which practically touches the ground and yet they don't even have it wrapped once around their neck. If you're inside, that's one thing - this can look cool and trendy. But if you're outside and it is cold, don't be an idiot! I suppose it could just be Virginians who, as I've previously discussed, have difficulty dressing themselves.
• Sub-pregunta: People do this with hoods on sweaters and coats too. I like hoodies, but I feel too many people never make use of the hood itself. Why is this?
• Three: What on earth is the deal with all the interest in Judy Winslow? (or rather, Jaimee Foxworth) Of all the google searches leading people to my blog, the vast majority of them have to do with people wondering what happened to the forgotten Winslow child. (If you missed it, I've tackled this subject previously.) I'm starting to consider whether or not I should re-title my blog "The Judy Winslow Fan Club". Anyway, since this post will undoubtedly draw more curious googlers, here's a picture we can all smile and shake our heads at as we silently contemplate Judy's fate.

• 3b: Why did a google search for "licking feet videos" lead someone to my site? Ok well admitedly it was cause of my second Randy Beaman post, but still! I suppose the real question is - what on earth was this pervert hoping to find with such a search?

Maybe there are some things we're just not supposed to know the answers to.

Ugh!

Winter unofficially arrived in Virginia last week (though seems to have departed again temporarily). And while I am sad to report that I have begun to feel more accustomed to the beautiful weather of VA - and thus, less acclimated to the cold than when I was in Chicago - I am even more sad upon realization that the arrival of winter also spells the arrival of one of my most hated fashion trends...Uggs.

Now, I do not have anything against fashion in general. True I find the clothing worn by models on the runway to be absurd. And I have yet to see any of those "fashions" debut on a person on the street. And perhaps I didn't find Zoolander funny (though I'm willing to give it another viewing). But I don't have a problem with people wanting to look nice. However there are at least two instances where I hate the trend so much... I... spit on them.

My first fashion hatred is those over sized sunglasses. It drives me nuts seeing these girls walk around pretending to be movie stars or something with obnoxiously large frames on their faces. Have they never looked in the mirror with those things on? They look ridiculous! I pretty much can't be friends with a girl if I know she wears those. Or at least, I can't take her serious while she's wearing them.

Second, and to the point of this post, I despise Uggs. To be more specific, I hate those tall boots that are really furry and that girls tuck their jeans into as though they were some snow bunny in Aspen. I don't know what it is really. They just look silly to me. And something about them seems so pretentious. Same with the face-glasses I guess. While we're on the subject... I also hate popped collars.

In closing, whether you think you can or you think you can't... you're right.