Lemon Poop

I've railed before against restaurant waiters putting a lemon slice in my water when I did not request it. After all, had I wanted lemonade, I'd have ordered it. And I most certainly wouldn't order watered down lemonade - which is what it tastes like when my water is polluted with a lemon slice. Well it turns out, lemon may not be the only pollutant that comes with this slice. A health study recently came out (admittedly, by a researcher at a community college) which examined the rind and pulp of 76 lemons served on water glasses at various restaurants in New Jersey. Some of her findings....

A total of 25 different types of germs were found on 53 out of the 76 lemons that were sampled. Some were fecal in origin (either from dirty fingertips of the restaurant employees, or from meat-contaminated cutting boards and knives), while others were types commonly found in saliva, on the skin and in the environment.

One sample had six different microorganisms on it, three of which are found in fecal material. Although some lemon slices had germs either only on the rind or only on the pulp, 29 percent had germs on both sites. In 15 instances the germs on the pulp were completely different from those on the rind, indicating that the pulp had been in contact with a contaminated surface as or after it was sliced. Sometimes when more than one lemon was sampled during a single restaurant visit, different germs were found on each.

Perhaps I will admit defeat and begin requesting "water with no lemon" even though I'll know inside I should not have to utter the words "with no lemon". I'd rather speak up and have less poop in my water.

I'm once again blind

I just returned from the eye "doctor" and my pupils have been dilated so I can barely read what I type. But I just wanted to blog some additional rage over this whole thing. I just paid nearly 100 dollars to someone to tell me that my prescription has in fact not changed in the past year. I tried to pry a decent explanation from her as to why the exam was necessary. She gave no reasonable excuse and then blamed state law. I say the state must be in the pocket of Big Eye-Ball. Still, it was nice of her to blind me (by dilating my pupils) before robbing me.

I once was blind

but that was a long time ago. I've been wearing glasses or contacts since 6th grade.

This morning I attempted to order a year's supply of contacts online. I just received an email saying that my order was placed on hold because my prescription has expired. And suddenly I felt something welling up inside me. A feeling. One that can only be described as... rage. Why on earth do I need a freaking prescription to buy contacts? It's not like they're some kind of drug that I'm going to sell to local teenagers who are looking for a cheap way to get their kicks. Nor am I going to smuggle them to Canada (they probably get them free up there anyway). They're freaking contacts! And if I know what kind I need, why should I be forced to pay an eye doctor money I don't have to tell me what I already know? Perhaps a better question is, why would an optical prescription expire? Oh right, so the eye doctors have a chance to gouge me. What kind of a scam are the optometrists running here? I imagine I could attempt to plead my case with them - that I'm a grad student and therefore have zero expendable income and am quite content with my current prescription. But even in my imagination, I am rebuffed and told to make an appointment and pony up the cash so I can have the delicate genius sign a sheet with the same damn prescription as my current little sheet that is apparently no longer valid.

Ugh. Sorry about that. Stay tuned though. I have tales from the camping trip this weekend.

Et tu, Brute?

This is straight out of my kinetic theory text book...

A man is known to breathe out about 400 cubic centimeters of air at each breath, so that a single breath of air must contain about 10^22 molecules. The whole atmosphere of the earth consists of about 10^44 molecules. Thus one molecule bears the same relation to a breath of air as a breath of air does to the whole atmosphere of the earth. If we assume that the last breath of, say Julius Caesar has by now become thoroughly scattered through the atmosphere, then the chances are that each of us inhales one molecule of it with every breath we take. A man's lungs hold about 2000 cubic centimeters of air, so that the chances are that in the lungs of each of us there are about five molecules from the last breath of Julius Caesar.

Gas dynamics can be trippy huh?

Hysterical pregnancy

The joke about university student health services seems to be that no matter what you come in with, you've either got mono or are pregnant. Though awkwardly enough, a friend of mine who was recently hospitalized with mono had doctors suggest to him he might also have HIV. They asked him if he was involved in any needle drug use. He laughed. And then the doctors had my friend's mother leave the room so they could ask him if he was involved in any "risky" sex. I suppose this sounds less funny than it did when he told it to us at Bible study last week.

Annnyway... I've been feeling pretty crappy the past several days. (No worries, I didn't make out with my mono-friend. He's a dude.) I'm not really sure what I've got though. Maybe the mumps. I hear UVA has had a bad outbreak of those this semester. I blame the undergrads. Whatever it is, I hope it goes away by Friday when I head home. I hate being sick over vacation. And for some reason I have a great deal of experience with the phenomenon. Two years ago I was hospitalized with the flu just before new years. I spent New Years Eve by myself eating ice chips and drinking Sprite. Woot. Anyhow, I have a lovely Christmas song to share with you all. But I think I'll save that for tomorrow. I think my 3 hours in the office are enough for today.

Doctor: Mr. Burns, I'm afraid you are the sickest man in the United States. You have everything.
Burns: You mean I have pneumonia?
Doctor: Yes.
Burns: Juvenile diabetes?
Doctor: Yes.
Burns: Hysterical pregnancy?
Doctor: Uh, a little bit, yes. You also have several diseases that have just been discovered -- in you.
Burns: I see. You sure you haven't just made thousands of mistakes?